There are seasons where everything is clear, and seasons when most of the process is shrouded in mystery. Both require faith, but where that faith is to be applied is different.

In seasons of clarity, the objective is right before our very eyes, but can feel infinitely, impossibly difficult, not unlike Moses going up to Pharaoh and challenging him with nothing more than a stick of wood. He knew what he was to do, with what to do it with, and even the words he had to say, nonetheless, he was overwhelmed to the point of almost forgoing the mission at all.

In seasons of mystery…the faith is to just stay by the Master’s side, with only his hand as your comfort. Every step in front of you may not make sense, you’re standing in a cave, with barely even the moonlight to show you what is right under your nose. You know that in hindsight, it will all make sense, nevertheless, the uncertainty requires a level of faith that can also make you feel shaky. Who likes to stand in complete darkness, our human need to know totally unsettled and unmet?

Life before felt like the first season. Everyday, I was tasked with overcoming my shortcomings. Face to face with the necessity of providing seemingly never-ending bread, when all I had was a broken cracker. Everyday felt like standing in front of a firing squad of sorts, only to make it through by the skin of my teeth. Everyday, I was met with my own inadequacies, only to then see miracle after miracle of Jesus show up to meet me and use me.

Life right now, feels like the latter. Completely relocated to what could essentially be the farthest corner of the world from where I was — I just know that my life is in the hands of my loving, ever-present Father. I don’t know why I am where I am — whether I got here by passing my last test or failing. I just know that He’s with me and I love Him more than ever before. I know that He’s the one my heart feels safest with, and that I trust Him here. I don’t need to assess my own performance, my journey or my destination. I’ve never been here before. Though I feel more alone than I have felt in my life…I also feel less lonely than I remember ever feeling.

I have this sense that things are shaking all around me and that the shaking will continue, if not escalate.

All around me may be unfamiliar, but His Word, His hand upon mine, and His earth under my feet are still here.

So I’m okay.