I used to blog. Back in the day when I sat in my tiny little cubicle and wished daily that I could do something else, I would blog or journal. Not for anyone in particular…just myself. My mind would wander and imagine that I was a butterfly, carried by the wind away from that tiny, dark little desk.

I’d write diatribes about the inhumane-ness of putting people behind desks in little cages called “cubicles.”

One may have called me dramatic.  Maybe.

In those days, I had oceans of thoughts. I wanted to write them all down. I thought I would never run out of things to think about or write. I was almost constantly overwhelmed by them and if I didn’t write them down, I was awash with panic from them overtaking me.

Then, I had children.

And every thinking brain cell was squeezed out by hormones and the humbling realization that my small humans would die if I thought about anything but them.

And now…those tiny humans are still tiny, but they can walk and talk and go to school.

Today, the first day I felt peace and quiet in months, I felt the Lord say, “Write.”

“But Lord, I don’t have anything to say.”

I feared I’d have nothing to say. I feared that if I wrote it in here, I’d have nothing to preach.  In my season of early motherhood, revelation and thoughts were scarce. Only one valuable coherent droplet would come from heaven every few months.

But even as I thought and felt those fears, a bigger one emerged. Images of Aaron leading people to build a golden calf came to mind.  Why did Moses even NEED Aaron? Because Moses gave excuses and didn’t think he could lead the people out of Israel.  He thought his shortcomings were too big. And so the Lord let him have help. But note. It was not God’s Plan A.  God’s Plan A was Moses without Aaron. (See Exodus 4:10-17).

No, Lord! May it never be! If He says do something, do it and do it quickly and do it the way He tells you. Otherwise you may talk yourself out of following Him.

So, here I am. Blogging. Bleh. But OBEYING. YAY.

And, I had the sneaking suspicion He would give me the content.

This blog is the result of obedience.

Here’s to quick obedience and no golden calves.

To borrow a term from a favorite author of mine, Brennan Manning, welcome to the “meanderings of a ragamuffin.”

And to highlight how much of a ragamuffin, I truly am…I misspelled ragamuffin, and so my blog-site is forever going to be http://www.meanderingsofaraggamuffin.com, with two “g’s.